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In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.
Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.
How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.
There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.
You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.
To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.
Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).
You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.
Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.
AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.
Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.